cgm13.net :: the boy wonder: December 2004

The Year That Was
So, here's a quick recap with thirteen highlights from my 2004 (like you haven't heard all this already). What will 2005 hold? Ah, who knows and cares.
1. Went to NYC and saw The Man.
2. Had a date with a fella way too gorgeous to ever be interested in me.
3. As expected, I got no second date.
4. Bought a Canon Powershot S1IS Digital Camera.
5. Visited Mom in Seattle. It was fun.
6. Had a heart attack scare and got rushed to the ER.
7. Turns out it's panic attacks for which I am now medicated.
8. Started redoing my home office.
9. Directed "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street."
10. Bought a piece of Mark Mothersbaugh art.
11. Won "Best Actor" at State Competition.
12. Finished the Office redo and started redoing my Bedroom.
13. Bought a 20G iPod.

In Non-Cock Related News

Famed (and my favorite) swing-era band leader/clarinetist Artie Shaw has died at the age of 94.

Make Mine Extra Large, Please

Ah, it's always fun when you start something. The Glory Hole Pig wants to see what we have in the ole beside drawer. So, I'm gonna tell you what I would buy (since I have already shown you what I own). Yep. I would go for the gusto and get a Ken Ryker Realistic Cock if'n they didn't cost so much. Hey, if you're gonna buy you might as well buy big, right? Mr. Ryker was in one of the first gay pornos that I ever watched so I guess that's why have a special place in my heart for him. Mmmmmm. Now if they made a Jack Wrangler Realistic Cock I'd be all over it ... him or Owen Hawk. I'd so plunk down some cash for those.

The Clone Egg Says "Fuck The Human Race"

Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah
That pretty much sums up the day. I'm not feeling quite as crappy as I did yesterday, but I think I should have called in sick and slept all day. So, so sleepy right now. That's making me unfocused. Grrrr.

Last night's trip to Lowe's was pretty uneventful. I was concentrating a little too much on the Mohawk Perennial Flooring brochure a little too much to be able to pay attention to the handymen. And besides, if I had tried to talk to one I probably would have sneezed on 'em. I'll have to go back for some "window shopping" when I feel more peppy.

Postcard.
Nail Gun.
Bookmark.
Miter Saw.
- - -
Molding.
Warm Fog.
Newspaper.
Stationery.

Please, wake me when it's time to punch out.

An End of the Year List
Since I really don't have the brain power for something original today ... here's a listing of my favorites from this past year in movies, dvds, music and books. Enjoy.

Top Five Movies

1. "Dawn of the Dead" Directed by Zack Snyder
2. "The Incredibles" Directed by Brad Bird
3. "Open Water" Direct by Chris Kentis
4. "The Village" Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
5. "Spider-Man 2" Directed by Sam Raimi

Top Five DVD's

1. "The Simpsons: The Complete Fourth Season" Released by Fox Home Video
2. "Videodrome" Released by Criterion
3. "Short Cuts" Released by Criterion
4. "The Alfred Hitchcock Signature Collection" Released by Warner Home Video
5. "Wonder Woman: The Complete First Season" Released by Warner Home Video

Top Five in Music

1. "Downside Up: B-Sides & Rarities Box Set" Siouxsie and the Banshees
2. "Join the Dots: B-Sides & Rarities Box Set" The Cure
3. "Astronaut" Duran Duran
4. You Are The Quarry" Morrissey
5. "Long Gone Before Daylight" The Cardigans

Top Five Books

1. "The Complete Peanuts 1950-1952" By Charles M. Schulz
2. "The Complete Peanuts 1953-1954" By Charles M. Schulz
3. "Magical Thinking: True Stories: By Augusten Burroughs
4. "The Grim Grotto" By Lemony Snicket
5. (Eeeeep. I didn't read much this year.)

Tuesday Blues
Tired.
Cranky.
Sinus Drainage.
Sneezing.
Puffy Eyes.
Sleepy.

Maybe the hot handymen at Lowe's will perk me up when I go there after work.

In Other News ...
Thom has joined The Parade with a tasty photo.

Project #43

Next, I get to fix the flooring in the closet. Man-oh-man is it gonna be fun! As you can see, the former owners made this closet out of two. The ripped up places in the floor are where the original walls were. Unfortunately, I can't just slap down new hardwood in those spots 'cause it would look weird (and bad). The game plan (at this point) is the take out the hardwood that is in the closet, recut it and extend the flooring from the bedroom into the closet opening. Then, I'll put new hardwood into the main part of the closet. My boss has suggested putting down tile in the closet which I am not too sure about. Hooray for decisions!

Also This Weekend ...
Made some more progress in my bedroom. Do you think it's sad that I spent all my free time during the holiday working? Well, maybe ... but the home improvement elves sure weren't gonna do it for me.

Before:

As Of December 25th:

Crappy Holidays
Yep. The holiday weekend was pretty unpleasant. Ah, family! What else are they for but to cause stress. My sister and her husband have been going through some tough times and that spilled over into our Friday night gathering. He wasn't there. He was working. But, he called and started giving my sister some shit and she was in tears before you could say "Bah-Humbug." Later they were on the phone again, my sister screaming at him while we all sat there and listened. Before that conversation ended she was in tears again. Yeesh.

The Evil one also called up on Friday. I haven't heard a peep from him since Thanksgiving and suddenly, "I'm in town and I got you a Christmas present." So, he came over for a short time on Saturday afternoon and gave me with the best (and probably most thoughtful) present that I got this Christmas. It's a Martini Travel Set that comes with a shaker, jigger/pony and two glasses all in a nice locking leather case. Yeah. I have been thinking about what this means and doesn't mean too much. Grrrrr.

In Other News
A few more jocks are up for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

Sittin' on Santa's Lap

Anyone who wants to sit on Santa's lap is more than welcome to. He'll even be real "hush, hush" on who's naughty and who's nice.

The Holiday Game Plan

Holiday ... what holiday? There's no rest for the ~~wicked~~ weary.
Tonight: Paint the Ceiling (Warm Fog).
Tomorrow: Paint the First Coat on the Walls (Elephant Grey).
Saturday: Paint the Second Coat on the Walls (Elephant Grey).
Sunday: Paint the Molding & Trim (Warm Fog). Remove the Ugly Old Carpet.

Lowe's Home Improvement: Bane of my Credit Card
It's no secret that I have been using my trusty AmEx Card to finance my home improvements. So, I have charged up a bunch over the past two days. Last night I picked up my new ceiling fan, closet light, painting supplies, outlet covers, switch plates and the closet organizing system that I have been drooling over. This morning I went back and got all the molding and trim. All that's left to purchase now is some flooring for the closet and the hardwood floor refinishing stuff. Whoo!

Lowe's Home Improvement: A Gay Man's Fantasy (Almost)
"Like, OMG! I am, like, so crushing right now!" The local Lowe's is a great place to go guy looking. Burly, scruffy handymen are all over the place picking up items for their next project. Mmmmm, mmmmm. I fell in love at least five times last night (and developed a severe neck cramp from craning my neck so much). I think that Titan should do a handyman store movie. "My, that's a big tool you're holding there." I must confess to having a crush on the store manager.

Best Buy: A Gay Man's Fantasy (For Sure!)
But, if you really want some hot fellas, the local Best Buy is the place to be. They must have some "hotness" test on the application for employment. It's great to go in and bug the guys for some help. That way you get to cruise them without being too obvious. *SIGH* What could be better? You have hot guys and dvd's in the same place! I must confess that I am in love with one of the store managers.

Wait a Minute!
This post was supposed to focus just on my excessive spending at Lowe's ...

Let's Talk About The Weather
What a week! So far we have had fog, high (as in 60 mph gusts) winds, rain, thunderstorms, snow, sunshine, bitter cold and moderate warmth. I heart the mountains.

Further Proof

Ah, yes! Here's further proof that the remake of "The Amityville Horror" won't suck even if it does suck. Get it? Oh, Mr. Reynolds ... you have become the fantasy object of so many gay men. Why should that untalented Alanis get to be the lucky one?

Meanwhile Back at the House ...

The mudding is finally done and the painting can begin. I got the first coat of primer up last night and will put on a second this evening. For those of you who have never dealt with fresh drywall, priming (two-three coats) is a must. I can't stress this enough! New drywall sucks up paint like dry earth sucks up water. So, proper priming will ensure an easy time with your color of choice.

Some of my friends are still amazed that I'm doing the home improvement myself. I wonder if I come across as that big of a girly-man. Hmmmmmm. All I can say is that using power tools make your penis feel bigger.

My Stupid Subconscious
I really do hate dreams. I never seem to have "normal" ones therefore I always feel the need to read something into them. After all why would you have a dream unless it's your subconscious trying to tell you something?

Last night I had a dream about Evil again. We were in a large group of people and he was flirting with the ditzy girl that he claims to have no interest in. He was flirting with and totally ignoring me. That's when Francis came up and told me that Evil and I had hooked up the previous weekend when we had been drinking together at a party. I couldn't remember this happening and the she wasn't surprised at all. "You never remember what happens when your drinking." I stood there watching him flirt and feeling upset that I couldn't remember having sex with him. Later, he's all dressed up and leaving to go to some fancy gathering. I'm standing on a deck above him with a bottle of bleach. Without even thinking about it, I pour the bleach all over him. He looks up at me ... furious that I have ruined his clothes.

Grrrr. Where's Dr. Mierzwiak when you need him? I wish that I could go back a few years and erase him totally from life so I wouldn't have dreams about him. They make me depressed. Depressed because of all the time and emotions I have wasted on him.

Grumpy the Holiday Elf

I'm not usually this festive at the holidays. This one's for that cute fella from the frozen north.

Skinhead Goodness!
My goodness! Drub over at drubskin.com has joined on The Parade of Jocks.
[Sighs and Wipes Drool from Chin.]

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: July 16, 2005!
JK Rowling's two English language publishers Scholastic and Bloomsbury announced today that "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" will be released at midnight BST (British Summer Time) in the United Kingdom, United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa on Saturday, July 16th, 2005. Bloomsbury will be releasing both the hardback childrens and adult versions (same text, different cover) of HBP like the previous books, both with a recommended retail price of £16.99, with the US version at $29.99 (although some stores have already set their pre-order price at $17.99). Bloomsbury has informed us that HBP will be "a bit shorter than Order of the Phoenix."

Simpsons! Season Five!

"Don't bogart that squishy!"

Simpsons! Season Five!

"No, that's German for 'The Bart, The.'"

The Parade Continues!
You know, there's nothing nicer than opening up your e-mail in the morning and having ass just waiting for you. Why I didn't do this jock thing earlier is beyond me! Thanks to all you fellas that have dropped those pants. It's been greatly appreciated. New jocks will appear as the drop into my Inbox. Whoo! There is now a link to "The Parade of Jocks" over on the menu so that you all can enjoy anytime you want to.

Christmas Comes Early

Don't forget that "The Simpsons: The Complete Fifth Season" DVD Set drops into stores tomorrow. I can't wait!!! Season Five contains "Boy Scoutz 'N The Hood" (one of my fav-o-rite episodes). "Mmmmmm. Floor Pie."

The Parade of Jocks!
Sorry for it taking a while to get here, but it was a busy weekend. Thanks to all you fellas that grabbed those cameras and dropped those pants. You can now view some view them with The Parade of Jocks! I will post more photos and add more links as they come through. If I have identified you or linked you and you hadn't wanted me to ... let me know and I'll take care of it. Enjoy!

Parade of Jocks

Alright ... this is my last effort to spur you fellas into joining me in a jock strap celebration. C'mon! Don't leave me "hanging" out there.

UPDATE! December 17 at 4:30 p.m.
Mmmm. Hard Cup!
A reader sent me his jock (apparently at the insistence of The Man). Whoo!

UPDATE! December 18 at 10:00 a.m.
Archerr has joined in the fun as well with a sweet photo. Mmmmm.

Meanwhile ... Back At Lowe's: Redux

Oooooo. I can't wait! This the organizational system I will be putting in my closet. Make mine Cherry, please.

The Jock Strap Challenge
Well, it isn't going too well right now. C'mon fellas! I am sure that your body is no worse my sad, flabby ass is. Notice how I didn't reveal too much to scare people. You can do the same. And just 'cause you weren't singled out yesterday doesn't mean that you aren't expected to join in the fun (Trachalio, I am looking in your direction!). So, bust out those jocks and cameras. Get to postin'. NOW!

Meanwhile ... Back At Lowe's

I really think this is quite possibly the coolest bathroom sink ever. Too bad it costs nearly $700. Ah, the price (which I can't afford) of being hip.

Down On A Thursday Afternoon
What a "blah" day it's been. I heard earlier in the day that a family "situation" is close to resolving itself ... but not in the way I had expected or wanted to. That's got me down. I get to go home and work more on my bedroom. I remember why I paid someone to do this last time. That makes me feel tired. Flirting with someone today makes me realize just how dateless I have been (and will continue to be it seems). That puts me in self-pity mode. I guess I'll go home, crawl into bed and snuggle under the covers with my iPod.

Back to Horror

I must confess that I am getting pretty excited about the remake of "The Amityville Horror." I love haunted house/ghost story movies. Love 'em! I have always been hip to the Amityville story since I read Jay Anson's book about a bazillion times growing up. The original movie version is an ok film, but not the best haunted house movie ever made. The new one looks like it has potential ... plus it's got Ryan Reynolds in it! So, even if the movie sucks there will be some eye candy (think "Blade: Trinity"). Visit the official site and check out the teaser trailer.

BJ Is Right ... Drag Out Those Jocks!
I agree with The Man ... I think that my fellow bloggers need to post jock strap pictures as well! Think of it as a group Christmas present. You can be as tame (or racy) as you wanna be. C'mon! Do it for the good of your fellow bloggers.

Casey: I'm looking in your direction.
Archerr: Set an example for others to follow.
Beau: Have fun with the rest of us.
Albert: You know you want to.
Homer: I think you would look smashing in a jock.
Jason: Be "yummy" with the rest of us.

So, bust out those digital cameras guys and get to work!

I Am A Bad, Bad Boy (Sorta)

I place the blame for this squarely on Archerr. He told me to (at BJ's insistence).

And The Beat Goes On
Ah. Feeling a lot calmer after having a Moon Pie and a soda. Looking forward to finally seeing Christopher Lee in "LOTR: ROTK." I heart me some Chris Lee.

Mom made me feel better about blowing that money on an iPod. She bought herself an excessive digital camera/printer combo for Christmas. So, my period of "buyer's remorse" has officially ended. And for all of you who don't have an iPod ... SUCKERS!!! It's the coolest toy ever! I have one and you don't!!!

Fuckin' Hell
Apparently I have nothing better to do during the work day than deal with people's problems. And I'm not talking work related shit either. That I wouldn't mind. It's things that friends, family and acquaintances should deal with themselves instead of putting it off on me while I'm at work. I can say that the happiness of getting the Platinum Edition this morning has melted away into frustration and anger. Lots of frustration. Lots of anger.

It's Tuesday, December 14

Mmmm. Platinum Edition.

I Was A Bad, Bad Boy

I place the blame for this squarely on Archerr. He told me to.

Musical Friday: Part IV

Anybody that knows me (or even halfway knows me) learns quickly that my favorite movie is "Short Cuts." Released in 1993 (after the success "The Player"), this movie is Robert Altman's masterpiece. Altman and a cast of extraordinary actors wind their way through nine tales loosely adapted from the writings of Raymond Carver. Critics often say that the movie is a jazz variation of Carver's writings. The movie contains a downbeat jazz soundtrack propelled by Annie Ross (who plays Tess Trainer, the regular singer at The Low Note jazz club). The songs that are sung by Ross in the movie are notable because they aren't your typical standards. Songs for the movie where written by such folks as Doc Pompus and Dr. John, Edge and Bono, Gavin Friday and Pop. My favorite contribution to the movie comes from Elvis Costello and Cait O'Riordan. Enjoy.
Annie Ross and the Low Note Quintet - Punishing Kiss [3 MB]

Musical Friday: Part III

I really think that I need to buy myself an iPod for Christmas.

Musical Friday: Part II

There is also a "remastered" and "expanded" edition out of Nine Inch Nails "The Downward Spiral." A great album of mid-90's isolation and hatred. A lot of folks think of this as Reznor's masterpiece, but I prefer "The Fragile" which is a little more balanced and not quite so intense. Check out the link which takes you to a mini-site with album info, downloads and song samples. The wallpapers are particularly sweet.

Musical Friday: Part I

If you are a fan of The Cure, the newly released "remastered" and "expanded" edition of their first album "Three Imaginary Boys" is a must purchase. The main album itself sounds better than it ever has. But, the main attraction is the second disc of rare album tracks and demos. The enclosed 16-page booklet is a major disappointment though. It offers no new insights on the bands formative years. If anything, Robert Smith comes off as a total ass talking about Lol Turhurst's "inept" drumming and bad mouthing tracks co-written with Tolhurst. So, you all had a fight? Get over it and don't dismiss his contribution to the band's early days. Smith even takes a shot or two at producer Chris Parry. Grrrr. So ... Go. Buy. Now. And take a trip back to the formative years of 80's gloom and doom music (and just ignore that pesky front man's current comments). Whoo!

Randomness for a Rainy Day
1. Seems like it does nothing but rain here in mountains. Humph.
2. Planning the drink menu for a Martini Party for the Roomie's Woman for January 15th.
3. I like making the holidays even more depressing ... I reinstated my gay.com profile.
4. "LOTR: ROTK" Platinum Edition next week! Whee!
5. I need to get my Christmas shopping started. Yep. I'm last minute.
6. Siouxsie's "Downside Up" Box kicks some ass (and the packaging is really sweet, too).
7. Watchwords for the end of the year: "repackaged" and "remastered."
8. Going to a Fondue gathering this evening. How seventies is that?
9. "I favor a good punishing kiss."
10. Hopefully I will get to start painting my bedroom next week. Whoo!

More From The Home Front

You can tell what I have been into this week. How much do I hate mudding drywall? Let me count the ways! One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen ...

Questions & Answers
Yow. I didn't quite realize that me dancing like an idiot would be something that people would actually want to see. I checked last night just to make sure and (alas) that video clip is nowhere to be found. I'll just have to come up with another one for y'all. Now for some answers ...

Mom:
Nope. No pictures from the big ole gay gathering on Sunday. I figured it would be a little presumptuous to be a "newbie" and be taking pictures all over the place. Maybe next time ...

BJ/Trachalio/Homer:
Nope. No nakedness with the dancing in that clip. Nakedness. Insulation. Definitely two things that do not go together. Then again, me and nakedness doesn't really seem to go with anything.

Harry/Myke:
Yeah. I need to not be a weenie about such things. It's not like I haven't made an idiot outta myself before.

Mark:
Yeah. I'll admit to diggin' on some George Michael. I am a child of the 80's after all.

The Post That Never Was

This image is all that's left of a movie post that I almost did a few weeks back. It was going to be called "The Dance of the Insulation Faerie" and would have been 3+ minutes of me dancing to George Michael while putting up insulation in my bedroom. Pretty silly, eh? Then, I got in a foul mood right before Thanksgiving and decided that the last thing I needed on the web was a clip of me making a complete ass of myself. Bet you're sorry that you missed out.

Monday, Monday
Busy day ... so go and enjoy some photos from this past weekend. Board Games. Hiking. Gayness. Oh, my!

Das Weekend!
Craving. Pizza. Must. Resist. See, I complain about being fat all the time and then what do I do ... decide that I NEED PIZZA & BEER on a Friday night. Beer. Further proof that I am weak-willed. I told myself I was gonna stay off the sauce for a bit after last weekend's little episode. But, then again, I got smashed on gin last weekend and beer isn't exactly gin. Is it?

Should be a fun weekend here in the mountains regardless. I think the roomie, his woman and I are gonna bust out on some 1313 Deadend Drive this evening. Tomorrow PT and I will romp off into the wilds for some woodsie goodness. Southern Culture on the Skids plays at The Peel tomorrow night. Maybe I'll go. Or maybe I need to go shop for a new fancy outfit 'cause Sunday is the Big Gay Gathering in Jackson County. I gotta "wow" the fellas. Mmmmm. Bleu Cheese Taters.

Drywall: Complete

And here, a tired and drywall dust covered Chas. contemplates the next part of his home improvement task. He smiles slightly knowing that the mudding process is a tedious and hellish one. After all, he is a masochist.

Infatuation Redux!

So, here's some fellas that I am totally smitten with at this point. Of course, none of them live anywhere near me ... but I guess that's my problem. Click 'em and enjoy 'em!

I Heart Art

Five Bits Randomness on a Thursday Afternoon
1. Sick of it yet? All that I lack is the inside of the closet and I'll be done with drywalling my room. Mudding (that hateful and evil task) is next.

2. Last night it was pretty weird to actually be able to see all of the front porch again. Drywall has been stacked out there for a year. Now it's all hung in my house. Yipee!

3. "Downside Up" is on it's way. Have I ever mention that USPS's online tracking sucks ass ... and not in a good way?

4. The hippie framer called and the painting I took down a couple of weeks ago is ready to pick up. Whoo! It's a piece of art that I have for a bit and finally got down to the frame shop. It's of a hand. It's cool ... and will hopefully look good hanging over my bed.

5. Been catching up on some "Invader Zim" this week as well. Heh. "Dumb like a moose, Dib. Dumb like a moose."

And One to Grow On:
Christmas means kickin' releases on dvd. The Platinum Edition Extended Cut "LOTR: Return of the King" box drops on December 14. Finally! We get to see some more Christopher Lee. And on December 21, "The Simpsons: The Complete Fifth Season" rolls into store a mere six months after Season Four did. Good stuff!

Desktops-A-Go-Go

Since I don't really have anything better to do with my time but snort drywall dust and obsess about porn stars ... I made some simple Owen Hawk desktops! There are five different ones. Choose your favorite or download all five. You know what to do click here, choose which ones wind your crank and then right-click/save. Since they were made by me for me they work best on a 15" 1280 x 854 Apple Display. Viva-la-Hawk!

I Heart Owen Hawk

Turns out that my current porn star obession has launched his own website. I have been in lust with Own Hawk ever since I saw him with a mohawk in Titan Men's "ManPlay 8." Check him out at owenhawkxxx.com or darkalleymedia.com.

What The?!?!?!
And where exactly has this year gone? So hard to believe that the end of 2004 is almost upon us. I guess that's what happens when you do shows, tear up your house, develop panic attacks and an assortment of other fun things. I even missed out on my blog anniversary last month. It just slipped my mind.

Speaking of Tearing Down the House
Just a few more sheets of drywall and that part of my bedroom will be finished. I need to hit some more nails into the closet framing (just for stability sake) and then the last few sheets will be put in place. I should have finished it up last night but Tobey Maguire's geek persona forced me to the television to watch "Spiderman 2." How many times did I slo-mo the part where he peels his shirt off? My lips are sealed.

Mr. King ... You're Next!
Been slowly plugging away at Augusten Burroughs' "Magical Thinking." It's a good book even though Mr. Burroughs depresses me sometimes taking about all the sex he's had. Next, I will finally start to read Stephen King's "Dark Tower" Series. I have been putting it off until all the books have been published ... and now they have. I heart Mr. King.

Upcoming
Looking forward to this weekend. Unless weather kills us, PT (possibly Matt) and I will be off into the woods for a little hike on Saturday. It's been so long since I have romped through the woods. On Sunday, I get to go to a pot-luck gay gathering in the wilds of Jackson County. Hopefully the Bleu Cheese Potatoes I am planning on making will impress some cute fella into kissing me.