cgm13.net :: the boy wonder: March 2003

I suspect that the real reason for ditching on the show Thursday night has nothing to do with money. I think that it would depress me horribly to go by myself.

In less self-depricating news ... the dvd release for Futurama's Second Season has been announced. Whoo!

Argh!!! What with all the dvds I bought last week and the two that come out tomorrow that I want, I may have to give up seeing the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion on Thursday night. There is only so much money to go around. Bummer. But, I still have Concrete Blonde to look forward to on Sunday night. I am not giving that show up. Whoo, Johnette!!!

With temperatures up near 70 degrees last week, imagine our surprise to wake up to eight inches of snow yesterday morning. Yow!

Argh! The co-worker is driving me nuts and making me want to kill. And, the inbox for my e-mail account has been way to quiet lately ...
Pet Shop Boys: E-Mail (5.4MB)

Jesus. It's 1:30 already. I'm a little busier than I thought I would be today.

Sweet. We have images of the cover art. Now we just have to wait another three months for the actual book. Hurry, June 21st. Hurry!!!

Can't wait to get home ... I am cravin' some blueberry muffins. Yum!

Dang it. Not one single store in the area has a copy of Beginning of the End. Thanks for looking for me, Michelle. Amazon here I come!!!

I am bummed. The rumor on the net is that Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses will be a limited release on April 11th ... meaning that it will be months (if ever) before it gets to the mountains of North Carolina. That just sucks!

I may get smacked or fussed at for saying this, but I really like the "videos" that Titan Media puts out. The "models" are ususally right up my alley and the action is always hot. My porn collection contains quite a few of their offerings. What I don't understand is their obsession with run time. I love porn, but there is only so much that you can watch in one sitting. I think 1 to 1-1/2 hours is a pretty good length. Titan's new release, "Woodsmen" (which looks pretty sweet), boasts 2-1/2 hours of hot man-on-man lovin'. That seems like it might be a little much. Then again, I have no life. So, that much porn might not be such a bad thing after all.

I have decided to humilate myself and have posted one of my online personals again. I love looking and seeing that no new mail has come through. Yeah.

Now that the major dvd purchases were made yesterday, I need to track down a copy of Beginning of the End (also released yesterday). It's Bert I. Gordon's fantastic 1957 movie about giant, radioactive locusts that attack a few small towns and head to Chicago for some major mayhem. It's stars Peter Graves and Peggie Castle and has only been available so far in the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 version. The great thing about this movie is that they try so hard to make it good. The special effects are so damn cheesey though. You can't beat grasshoppers crawling over a picture of the Chicago skyline. It's pure cinema gold!

Happiness is ... dvd's with super sweet packaging. The "Futurama" set comes with each disc in its own individual slip case (so much better than those massive fold out sleeves). The "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" discs comes housed in a Valiant and Valiant diary complete with signed photos of Roger and Jessica Rabbit. Sweet!

Hee, hee. I am happy now.

Well. My copy of the first season of Futurama gets to be returned. Out of the three discs, there is no first disc but two copies of the second disc. Argh! I hope this doesn't mean that the local Wal-Mart got a bad batch and that they are all that way. I will not be happy. But then again, I am never happy.

Random tibits for a Monday afternoon:
1) BJ is still the greatest person on the planet.
2) I have FOUR porn packages on the way to me. Whoo!
3) Tomorrow brings Futurama and Roger Rabbit into my dvd collection.
4) "Oh Coward!" is almost over. Yea!!!
5) There is sad news that Steve's blind beagle, Parsifal, was killed this morning.
6) I am still in love, but will remain unloved in return.

Here's my grand entrance on the Red Carpet at last night's Oscar festivities ...

I really hate that Oscar decided to be trendy and honor/validate everyone's favorite misogynist, gay basher. Kinda odd that he didn't perform. Maybe he was upset about not getting a nod for his acting in "8 Mile."

Saturday night's horror movie fest turned out to be a lot of fun. Michelle, Michael and Nicole were totally terrorized by the films shown (The Blair Witch Project, Night of the Living Dead, The Ring). At one point, you could have peeled all three of them off the ceiling. It was sweet. Michelle was so freaked out that she spent the night at my place instead of going home by herself. Heh, heh. Next time, we will have to watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Dawn of the Dead and The Fog. Yeah!

All this talk about Elliot has gotten me ... well, er ... you know. I gotta get out of here and take care of some things. Yeah, take care of some things. Mmmmm.

Geez. I think that it's a requirement that all Taco Bell Restaurants be like an ice box. And, it's not only Taco Bell. Every fast food restaurant in this town seems to live by that code. Just because it's hot in the kitchen doesn't mean that my teeth need to chatter while I eat. It just means I need to stay away from fast food.

Boo hoo! Elliot hasn't contacted me yet about when he's moving here to be with me. Patience. I must have patience ...

Horror movie talk makes me realize that we are now oh-so-much closer to Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses. April 11th, baby!

As regular readers of this site know, I have a major love of horror movies. Major. Last weekend I got into a conversation with my friend Michael's girlfriend, Nicole, and discovered she likes horror movies too. I was mortified to find out that she claims to like them, but has never seen the benchmarks of the genre (Night of the Living Dead, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween ... I do realize that I am naming mostly post 1970 films). Apparently she considers the crap that is being made today scary. So, tomorrow night, I am having Michael, Nicole and Michelle over for some much, much needed horror movie eduction. Michelle is particularly prone to being terrorized by such films, so I am looking forward to seeing how much sleep I can make her lose. The first film of the evening will be The Blair Witch Project ... a very controversial film because some find it to be totally terrifying while others find it good to make them fall asleep. I think it's one of (if not) the best horror films made in the last ten years. Yeah, you can stop laughing now.

I think that all the news agencies have gotten together and are secretly funding the current war in Iraq. CNN must have some hidden gamma wave in their signal that makes people not be able to switch off the television (or at least change to a different channel). I am so, so glad that I don't have cable. So glad.

Much to BJ's disappointment (I know how he likes the young ones), I will offically announce that I am madly in love with the new Freshmen cover guy, Elliot Malone. Just look at that folks. Sure ... he's young. Sure ... he has no chest hair. But, who cares! He's super tasty and packin' substantial ... er, well, you know. Mr. Malone needs to get himself to the North Carolina mountains just as soon as he can. I just know that he would be interested in an chubby, older, balding man. Damn my attraction to dark-haired fellas.

So, the Jeep won't pass inspection with the broken turn signal cover. Now I have to track down a new (and probably very expensive) one. Someone come to North Carolina and shoot me, please.

Days like today make me wish that I lived in a big city with a good mass transit system. The accident this morning made me realize that the Jeep is way past needing inspected (one of North Carolina's more stupid ways to get our cash). So, it's off to the service station to drop some more money. I hope the broken turn signal won't cause too many problems ...

I don't know why I was on about Bill Hemmer yesterday. It's not like I actually have cable to be able to watch CNN.

Argh! As if war isn't bad enough ... I hit someone with the Jeep this morning on my way to work. Fortunately, no major damage was done. I put a few rub marks on the back fender of the guy's Blazer and the Jeep now sports a trendy cracked turn signal. The dummy acted like he was going to turn left and then turned right instead. We were on Main Street, so neither one of use were going too fast or it would have been worse. He was nice enough, I guess. Now to call my insurance agent to see what the next steps are. It's my first accident. Whoo ...

We should always look for the positive in any bad situation. This whole war thing means that we will get to see a lot more of the ultra-cute Bill Hemmer. Mmmmm.

Yow! I just realized that I have bought four porn videos in the last two weeks. Oh, boy. I really, really need to get out of the house.

Geez. If it ain't one thing, it's another.

Ironically, it is only because Iraq's military forces are so weak that we can even contemplate its invasion. Some advocates of conflict claim that Saddam's forces are so weak, so demoralised and so badly equipped that the war will be over in a few days. We cannot base our military strategy on the assumption that Saddam is weak and at the same time justify pre-emptive action on the claim that he is a threat.
-- Robin Cook, House of Commons Resignation Speech

Porno Update:
So, I finally checked out the first volume in Titan Media's much heralded ManPlay series. The idea of "reality" sex is kinda silly in my opinion. The marketing tries to make us believe it's just average guys brought in for the hot, sweaty action. I think that nothing could be farther from the truth, myself. But in the end ... who cares. These guys go at pretty heavy with some really nice moments (all I can say is that it's all about the sling, yeah). There is one guy who has a huge ... anyway, all he does is offer a few gropes and kisses and takes more than his share of the ass action. It would have been nice to see the tables get turned on him. Plus, one of the model is called "Johnny Doom." How great is that name? On the whole I found this to be a pretty enjoyable video.

Yes. I do need to get out of the house more.

These are sad times. I can't even begin to tell you how unsettled I feel ... and I don't even live in a major city.

How odd. Apparently people like "Disco Tex and the Sex-O-Lettes" a lot better than "Concrete Blonde." Go figure.

You know ... it's pretty sad when you have to go back to work to get some rest. Yeesh. Did the show all weekend ... plus hung a gallery exhibit ... plus had rehearsal for that other show I am in. I did find out one thing this past weekend. I am loved by many, but loved by none ... if that makes any sense to y'all.

I can't even begin to tell you how pumped I am that I might again get to see Concrete Blonde live. Oh, yeah ... and all those other bands that I mentioned the other day. You can now sample the grand, ultra-coolness of Johnette Napolitano and company ...
Concrete Blonde: Your Llorona (7MB)

Believe it ot not, when I was young I used to be as skinny as a rail. Then the fun of puberty happened and I plumped up right nicely. By the time I graduated high school I was pushing 190 lbs. Eeep. That summer I actually lost weight working at McDonald's and dropped down to about 170 lbs. I hovered there for years until a couple of years ago I started gaining weight again. Imagine my shock to get on the scales and see that I was back up to 185 lbs. Eeep! So, I decided to be a little better. I am a major fast food (lunch every day) and soda (at least four a day) junkie. Last November, I cut out sodas totally and started taking turkey sandwiches for lunch. I have also tried only to have fast food once a week. I don't feel like I am any thinner than when I started this "non-dieting diet" last year. So, imagine my surprise when I weighed myself this morning and saw 165 on the dial. Yow!

So, I have decided that I need to have a backroom experience as soon as possible. Dark. Sweaty. Strangers. Sex. Sounds like fun. Yeah. It's been one of those days.

I have now been directed to the best damn site on the internet. This, especially, made me grin stupidly. Dear, sweet Jesus.
[via Michelle's Fifth Grade Class and east/west]

It hit me while I was in the shower this morning. About once a month I get the crazy urge to talk "that certain someone" and ask why the hell he bothers with me ... you know, being my friend (even though I know he knows how I obsess over him) and dealing with my crazy mood swings (that only he can bring about). I wanna ask him that question and hear him say, "Because, I care about you." Today is yet another fantasy day.

I hate to sound defeatist ... but you all can stop sending me e-mails about petitions, chain letters and form letters that will be sent to our local, state and national leaders. This war is going to happen no matter what we do. No matter how loud the outcry from the American public (or world as a whole), Bush is going to take us there and get many of our fellow countrymen killed in the process.

At this point, I think George Lucas is the dumbest person on the planet ... next to our President, of course.

So, here's yet another baby photo ... since I am in this one. Heh, heh.
Pictured: Michelle, Myself, happy dad Jeff, Lynnette

This is just about the silliest thing I have ever heard. C'mon folks. You have our country to run ... not food to rename.

And still you need to justify yourself to others but not me with that more-in-sorrow-than-anger routine. Sometimes I think I'm going mad when I hear you've said 'it's sad he feels hard done by me.' Did you ever feel betrayed by someone in your life?
Words: Neil Tennant

Jesus! What the hell is happening to Asheville?!? Here is a list of some of the acts playing at The Orange Peel in the next month. This area can't possibly be becoming that cool of a place. Can it?
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
Concrete Blonde
Camper Van Beethoven
Dar Williams
The Cramps

As of last Friday, my friends Jeff and Kelly are now parents. Nicholas is so damn cute. But the thought of Jeff as a father is just so freaky and unsettling. I guess it all boils down to "we ain't gettin' any younger." Yow!

The announcement that Oliver Wood (played by Sean Biggerstaff) will not return for the movie version of Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban brings up some troubling questions for us loyal Potter fans. So far we have dealt with small subtractions (Peeves the Poltergiest for one) from the first two stories to allow for a semi-tolerable movie length. But, as most know, the stories keep growing in length and complexity. It seems as if Wood's character would be one of the things to keep for the third movie considering he is Captain/Seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch team and it is his final year at Hogwarts. There are two matches featured in the book that are tied into the sub-plot of Harry's aquisition of a Firebolt broomstick and Wood's obsession to win, win, win during his last year. I wonder what the hell are they going to have to cut to get Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire to the screen?

Oh, dear. Jerwin is going to be very upset.

My friend Michelle (who is a fifth grade teacher) e-mailed me this morning to say that her kids were all wired to the hilt because it's "Puberty Day in the fifth grade." That just sounds so terribly interesting. I don't ever remember having a Puberty Day when I was in school ...

Christ! I'm back at work already. Where the hell did the weekend go?!?!

The weekend is finally here so get out there and get dancin'. Yeah!
Disco Tex & The Sex-O-Lettes: Get Dancin' (3.5MB)

I just realized that I have more whole bean coffee in my freezer than I do real food in the fridge. At least I have my priorities, right?

Well, I have successfully made my first 10' x 3' vinyl banner with the new equipment here at work. It's pretty sad that it makes feel as giddy as a freshly deflowered school girl.

In other news ... it's Friday and I actually have a free night. Yea! I will finally get to watch the dvd that I bought Tuesday.

So. We never did hear whether BJ got e-mail back from chunkylover53@aol.com. And with that I am off to make my first vinyl banner. Whoo.

You know, this site is starting to sound like a bad pop tune that just keeps playing over and over and over and over ...

In the book that I am reading it states that "the opposite of love is not hate, but silence." An interesting statement and I think it might be a true one for me at this point. I have been thinking that my silence was an avoidance of dealing with the guy that I can't seem to get over. Maybe my silence is me showing nothing but utter contempt for him. Last Saturday night we sat at the same table with a group of friends in our local bar. The only words spoken between us was when he asked me to pour him some beer from the pitcher. Was he being just as contemptuous as I was? Or did he pick up on the fact that I can't deal with him right now ... that I feel something worse than hate for him and myself.

I wish that my writing skills were better. I wish that I could write like this.

Sheesh. You can tell that you have been on the web too much when you start having dreams about fellow bloggers. Unfortunately, there was no "hot action" in that dream ... much like how things are in my real life.

My purchase of The Ring yesterday got me thinking. Why is it that movie studios shell out tons of money for artwork for the theatrical release of a film only to ditch that art when the movie makes it to video? As a graphic artist, this really bugs me. There has been some spectacular art just tossed to the side. Ocean's 11 is one of my favorite examples. You have this really sweet art that is tossed away for a bad collage of the cast. Maybe the thinking is that folks won't buy the video/dvd without Bad Pitt and George Clooney's faces plastered all over the box. Meanwhile, studios are paying twice for someone like me to come up with graphics. That's just dumb ... in my opinion.

Ugh. I absolutely hate this schedule I am on right now. Work and then two rehearsals. Dinner last night consisted of a Vanilla Moon Pie and Dr. Pepper. It only promises to get worse in the next week. Someone shoot me, please.

Before you die, baby ... you get to see one of the better horror films made in the last ten years. It doesn't quite live up to some of the genre's best films, but The Ring delivers lots of creepy atmosphere, disturbing visuals and a some really good shocks. It is too bad that the dvd doesn't have any cool extra features other than a new short film that supposedly "reveals more electrifying secrets about the mystery of The Ring." We'll see about that one ...

Time to roll on out for the afternoon. I've got me a hot date. Whoo.

God. It amazes me that people actually watch this kind of shit.

Movie Update:
Well, even though it was a busy wekend I managed to squeeze two films in. "The Rules of Attraction" ... it's an interesting film which kinda left me feeling empty afterwards. I just never could connect with any of the characters. Who knows. Maybe it was supposed to do that. The major thing that I thought was odd about the film is the fact that it's modern day college kids but the soundtrack consisted of all 80's alternative tunes (The Cure, P.I.L., Erasure, etc.). I would be curious to hear what Keith thought since he has such a James Van Der Beek fettish. Hmmm ... can't say that I blame him either. I also saw "Bully" last night. A slightly disturbing film about murder in South Florida. I must say that after watching it, I can understand all the "kiddie porn" arguments that surround Larry Clark's work. The film certainly had it's share of naked "teenage" flesh.

Lists are fun and easy! Here's the bands/singers currently in my cd case.
1) Thievery Corporation
2) The Pet Shop Boys
3) ABC
4) Skinny Puppy
5) Echo & The Bunnymen
6) Joy Division
7) Goldfrapp
8) Tori Amos
9) The Smiths
10) X
11) Lisa Stansfield