cgm13.net :: the boy wonder: November 2002

Hmm. Not really felt like talking much today. I am feeling a little overwhelmed with my trip to Florida coming up next week and now the possiblility of home ownership or eviction somewhere down the road. Yeesh. I am off to Burger King to see if I can find one of those Talking Simpsons Watches to try and cheer me up. We decorate the tree and make salmonella-laced egg nog tomorrow. Whoo!

So, Thanksgiving was good for a while (great food at Steve's) and then it sucked. My aunt owns the house that I am renting and wants to sell it. I have the first chance to buy, but I am not sure I can afford it. I really like this house. Urgh!!! Why did she wait to do this during the holidays. Now I am worried about possibly being homeless in a few months.

The staff of here at cgm13 World News wishes you a very, very "Happy Thanksgiving!"

I think about Roger a lot even though I know I shouldn’t. Roger was my first boyfriend … the guy that I fell in love with first. We were best friends in junior/high school. We were inseparable. I cared about him a lot. He was attractive, smart (way smarter than me) and fun to be around. Oh, and he was also a Mormon. We had know each other for several years, and then it happened. Actual intimate physical contact. I had wanted him for a long time, and when it actually happened I was stunned. If you had asked either one of us at the time we would have denied all knowledge of what was going on. We were busy checking out the girls and putting on the act for everyone else. I doubt we would have admitted the whole “boyfriend” thing to each other. God, we were young. We carried on in this fashion for a for a few years. Then came college. I went to a local community college while he went off to a nearby university. We saw each other whenever we could. He was busy being a history major. I was busy working full time and going to school full time. After graduating, he went off to USC in Columbia and we saw even less of each other. When he was in town one time, he told me that he had met this great girl at some church function and that they had really hit it off. My mind downplayed this because Roger liked guys. He had to be after what had happened between us. Shortly thereafter he appeared at work one day and handed me a book wrapped in brown paper. “You can open it later.” Then he was gone. I had received a copy of “The Book of Mormon” complete with a note saying that he had failed me as a friend by not witnessing to me about the Mormon religion. That he had failed me as a friend by letting certain things happen by “acting instead of reacting.” Well, I know knew how he felt. After finishing his Masters Degree at USC, he moved off to Washington State to get his P.H.D. at the University of Washington in Seattle. Then one day he walked into work with a wedding ring on. He and “the girl” had gotten married. I knew by this point things between us were over, but it still didn’t make it any easier. Roger and the new wife were in town about a month later and we all went out to lunch. I was even more depressed to see that she was, excuse the expression, a stereotypical dyke … short hair, stocky, manly dress, and with an overbearing personality. I have not spoken to him since that lunch. They have a kid now. Who knows they may have more. I hear that he and the family are back in North Carolina somewhere. I don’t know where and don’t care to know.

Is that petty of me? I sometimes feel like if I had made more of an effort to be around him during those initial college years that things might have worked out differently. Maybe he didn’t view us as being a couple. Maybe he thought that we were merely best friends that got together for some recreational fun. Maybe the Mormon religion would have gotten him in the end anyway. All this happened years ago. I think that time has tainted my memories of those days. That I am now, years later, making more of what happened than there really was. Whatever the case, the whole point of this is to say that I miss him. I miss him a whole lot.

Whoops! Mom is telling me to be a less self-depricating and be a little more cheerful. I can't help it if I am hard on myself. Someone has to be ... right? Hmmm. Maybe I should get a dictionary while I am at it.

And for no real reason (other than I want to) ... a big shout out to John Stanier. Hope that things are going well for ya. You rock!

Apparently, salmonella is a big concern when making egg nog. I think we may just have to take our chances ...

posted by Chas. @ 11/26/2002 11:04:39 AM |

Yes. I have, yet again, blown way more money than I should have on a dvd box set. This time it's Band of Brothers. It has really sweet packaging and the first episode (all I have gotten to see so far) was really damn good.

I think that this need to purchase more stuff (dvds, cds, books) all goes back to my need for distraction. Since I have been dateless for a long time, I need other things to concentrate on. What could be better than more stuff? Stuff will always be there to entertain you when your down. You don't have to take it out on dates and it won't ever run off with another guy ... or gal, as has happened in the past. Granted another warm body would be preferable, but for now I make do with what I have got. Yea, stuff!

Yeah!!! I got an e-mail from my graphic design hero today ... Steven R. Gilmore. How cool is that?

Yes. I have several online personals. Meeting people in this area is a little hard, if not impossible, to do. Recently I have been getting a lot of e-mail action. I knew there would be a catch ... that it was too good to be true. I think that it is very sad that "people" like Dylan, Brian and Caleb feel like guys in my situation are easy targets. Just because I am a lonely, unattractive, dateless guy doesn't mean that you can swindle me out of money with sites that require a supposedly "free" pass to see your photos. I am not that desperate to see your goodies fellas. Urgh!!!

Ugh. A headache has settled in. How unpleasant it is to have to stare at a computer screen when one side of you brain fills like it's going to pull apart. Pills ... here I come!

Well, the weekend was not too exciting ... just trying to lay low again. I did get to see the new James Bond film and was not too impressed. Granted, Bond films have come to be a little overdone. This one was a little much (invisible cars ... hello?!?). Brosnan was good as always. Halle Berry had the right note of playfullness as the new Bond girl. Toby Stephens, as villian Gustav Graves, was just hot, hot, hot. In the end it all just didn't gell. Give me the old Sean Connery Bond films. Now those were great.

In other news ... I was way lazy about getting more stuff up on the site. There are now some links on the Weblogs page ... but that is about it. Sitting in front of the television seemed more important that actually doing creative and fun things. Just means that the work is piling up. I need a swift kick in the ass. Would anyone like to take a shot at being my therapist?

The work week is done! Now it's time to go and add sweet content to this site. Check in later and see what's new!

Another Consumer Alert from the friendly staff here at CGM13 World News ...
As you may know the new Audioslave album hit stores this week. Chris Cornell and the remaining members of Rage Against the Machine have teamed up to bring the world the next great supergroup. It is sheer power from start to finish! So far, my favorite track is "Show Me How To Live." I am sure that more in-depth listens will produce other favorites. I did just get this cd last night. And kudos go that evil corporate giant for offering this disc at the "darn silly" price of $10.84 ... it's been "win, win" all the way around!

Humph! It's trying to snow and not quite making it. C'mon snow!

The Pet Shop Boys have written a musical! How gay is that?

There! I like that banner a lot better than the last one. More stuff will be online soon ... not that anyone is watching.

Yee Haw!!! Things are starting to work out. Check back for more great stuff ... or at least o.k. stuff.

Urgh!!! Let's Try that again.

Let's see if the archives are working now. Probably not.

Well, here we go again. I have tried this whole weblog thing before and found that the patience to keep up with it just wasn't there. So maybe this time. Bear with me. I am still learning about this whole set up/archiving/adding more content. So to keep you busy in the meantime here are some favorites of mine:
Corky
UltraSparky!
BJ's Gay Porno Crazed Ramblings (Lots 'o porn. Whoo!)
Jerwin

Hey! It's a test post. Whoo.

Friday, November 29, 2002

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

Monday, November 25, 2002

Friday, November 22, 2002

Thursday, November 21, 2002

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